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| so in case any of you were wondering... i'm a reformed child! 
i'm really proud to say that i've started to become close to one of my friends at school, and her name is Megan. She's introduced me to this wonderful youth group, and i am so thankful for it! it's the first youth group that has REALLY gotten to me, you know? like it's the first out of three that seriously genuinely made me cry because of how emotional i got in wanting to please God and live my life for God and how i was so sorry for all of the times that i've screwed up in my life. God is so great, He's helped me to live a better life. Blessing me not only with her, but a lot of other REALLY good friends who are genuinely good people.
i've found that i was surrounding myself with the wrong crowd. the crowd i was with wasn't necessarily bad. i love all of the people in that crowd, they're all a LOT of fun to hang out with, and they're all really nice! they just, you know, party a lot and drink a lot, and you know what i mean. they're just living it up and having some fun with their lives. and i've NEVER been the type of person who would go around drinking or smoking or anything like that. i've gotta admit, there were two times when i drank, but i've never been drunk, because it's just not for me. and i've never done any type of drug in my entire life, except for like... taking tylenol for a headache, and even THAT is extremely rare. but after a while of hanging out with these people, the thought of drinking didn't seem so bad after all. i started excusing it and started finding it acceptable. and then finally, i found myself wanting to get drunk because i just wanted to let go of everything that had been going on in my life. i just wanted to forget and to have a good time!
but thankfully it never got to that point. i never drank, no matter how badly i wanted to. the last time i tasted alcohol was in march, and that was only the 2nd time in my entire life. still haven't been drunk and hopefully won't be until i'm at LEAST 21. i don't want to drink. and drugs? definitely not for me. i'm happy that i'm surrounding myself with good people who are helping me to live a good, honest, truthful, and happy life. =)
i've been completely honest with my parents, and i must say, life has been a lot better because of it. i love making them happy and i'm glad that i've finally started to mature and start being responsible because my parents really do mean a lot to me, i care about them a lot. it feels good to be honest with them. it feels good to not hide anything from them. rebuilding their trust is taking time, but i'm going to keep working at it by trying to be the best kid i can be for them.
i really want to be a good person. i found myself making a list of things i can do for people and ways to live in order to be a good person. i just want to help people as much as i can in my life. i want to be a good friend, a good daughter, a good sister, a good worker, a good Christian. i just hope i can keep doing it. =)
I'M THANKFUL FOR...
Megan, Joe Medina, Andrea Valdez, & Christine Mendoza the MOST right now. because each one of these people have recently helped me to be more understanding of myself, of God, and of OTHERS. =)
..bowling anyone? | | |
| have you ever tried to be a better person, but it didn't work out?
i've made a lot of mistakes in the past, especially towards my parents. not on purpose, but i ended up breaking their trust in me. and these past few months i've been trying to get it back, and i've been trying to be a better daughter for them. they do so much for me, and i love them so much and i appreciate them. but no matter how hard i try... eventually, i always seem to mess up again. i'm completely discouraged because i want to be a good person and i want to be a good daughter to them, but i always end up messing up. i try so hard, i really do, but all of that hard work seems to go unnoticed, and all that they recognize are the the times when i make mistakes. they don't see how much i try to be perfect for them, or how badly i just want us all to be a happy family.
i find myself getting frustrated with my imperfections. sometimes it makes me want to move to a completely different place to just start all over. to just begin anew. i want to move far, far away because then they won't have to worry about me and i won't have anyone to disappoint. i'm a failure. it's hard to stay positive sometimes. i hate bringing down people's days with this kind of stuff.. sooooo....
<3i'm really excited to go to prom! yaaaaaaay!
<3david droke is pretty amazing =) he always knows how to make me smile.
<3went to wednesday mass this week! Jesus is my homeboy and heaven is my hood!
<3i have the best friends in the world! they care about me and love me, i can tell.
<3i have so many positive influences in my life! can you say JOE MEDINA??
<3grades are good, woo hoooooooooo!!
I love life. i really do. =) things will get better i know i know! heehee
looooooooooveeeeeeeeee!!!
=)Simply. | | |
| things are good. on "friday" i celebrated paige's birthday by going to nashville to eat at the spaghetti factory and play laser tag. and then afterwards i played some ddr and air hockey with joe medina and the rest of the gang. it was lots of fun. i'm really happy that i have such nice, good friends.
then "saturday" was my first day back at work. it was fun to work with Jenna, she's my favorite person to work with. she caught me up on all of her current crushes and we just talked and worked. it was good. then i sat up on the rooftop because it was a beautiful night, and it helped me clear my head. i've been thinking about a lot lately, and sitting on the rooftop helps me to reflect and it's just really peaceful.
then today on "sunday" i saw "The Benchwarmers" which is this really funny movie. we saw it at opry mills, and then we went to the arcade place inside of opry, which was a lot of fun and we just chilled there. then i came back home and my mom said i can't sit on the rooftop anymore. she's just scared for me, i guess i understand, it's just that i'm growing up and i feel kind of like... restricted a lot. but i understand, so whatever, it's just blah. i'm pretty sure i want to move away for college. i can't stand this, i really just want to be free and independent. i need space, i need room to grow. i need to start getting out on my own and being my own person. i don't want this.
that was my weekend! overall really good and i'm happy! so now it's time to start the homework. take caaaaaaaare!! hope you have a BEAUTIFUL week.
Simply. | | |
| FINISH LAST
by Stellar Kart
People change and plans get changed and
Everything changes but You
Everybody moves around and
Everything gets pushed around but You
You always stay the same, stay the same
I want to finish last
Last in the world's eyes
No matter what I do
I will be first in your eyes
I am running in this race and
I am pressing onwards towards the finish line
You have promised me a better life
Far beyond this world, far beyond this place and time
thank youu rosanna for posting this song.
i couldn't have read it at a better time. =)
comments below much appreciateddd. 
wednesday madness!!
<3 slept innn.
<3 ran over someone in the hallway ...roar, i'm a beast.
<3 colored with the A.D.D. crew in 4th! i love being with them.
<3 searched my soul in english class
<3 watched Cadfael after school with the other kids for english extra credit, and wrote notes to david droke.
<3 drove to the mall with david droke so he could get fitted for prom, and spent mucho time at the mall with him [note:i have the best prom date ever!!] playing ddr, nascar, air hockey, capcom vs. snk, time crisis and then just walking aroundd. | | |
| 5 more days until i can MySpace again.
------>soooooooo excited!!!
"Truth is incontrovertible,
malice may attack it,
and ignorance may deride it,
but in the end, there it is."
-Winston Churchill
Translation: Truth is unquestionable. You cannot dispute the truth. Although hatred may attack the truth, and people's unawareness or naivete may make fun of or ridicule it, it will remain to be there in the end.
--->No matter how badly you want to believe something else, it will always be there, regardless of how hard you try to cover it up. Trying to cover the truth is like trying to hold water in your hands. Eventually, it all leaks out. In the end, it's all we really have for sure.
ineedtoclearmyhead.
--->perfect night to sit on the rooftop. 
  
  
  
Choose to love ;; rather than hate.
Choose to laugh ;; rather than cry.
Choose to create ;; rather than destroy.
Choose to persevere ;; rather than quit.
Choose to praise ;; rather than gossip.
Choose to heal ;; rather than wound.
Choose to give ;; rather than steal.
Choose to act ;; rather than procrastinate.
Choose to grow ;; rather than rot.
Choose to pray ;; rather than curse.
Choose to live ;; rather than die.
life is still beautiful, it always will be. | | |
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